In my inbox this morning I found a message with the subject line “New News From DHL”. The message started with the following paragraph, which I am copying & pasting without alteration:
Good News!
DHL announced the restructuring plans for its U.S. network. This restructuring addresses changing market conditions as well as positions DHL well for future growth in the U.S. We are eliminating and investing smartly to have a highly reliable, functional network and to maintain a significant presence in the U.S.
Wow. Maybe they’ll invest in a new PR writer, or at least assign the current writer a proofreading assistant. Besides the obvious grammatical disaster of the second sentence, the third sentence could have borne revision before being mass-mailed. Is it just me, or does the phrase “We are eliminating and investing smartly” sound like a reference to their bathroom activities rather than their boardroom activities?