Impressively Bad Customer Service from Belkin

I used to think of Belkin as an above-average source of stuff for computers like cables and adapters and stuff. They may or may not be that, but now I have no reason to think that they support their products any better than anyone else who sells Chinese cables and adapters and stuff. I have a Belkin UPS for one of my computers. It’s a fine unit, no complaints with it. Its little LED and beeper informed me recently that its battery had expired. This was no great surprise; batteries wear out, and I’ve had the unit for awhile.

I dug up the manual from my stash of manuals (yes, I tend to save manuals for dumb things like UPSes) and found that there was no information in it about obtaining a new battery other than the directive that I visit belkin.com. So I did that, found the information page for my particular UPS, and found that there was not much to be had there other than a PDF of the manual I had just dug up. Nor was there anything in their customer support information database about replacing batteries for any of their UPSes. Eventually I found a means to submit a query by email, so I sent them the following message:

The battery in my UPS has failed. How do I obtain a replacement? Thanks for your assistance.

(There were little pull-down menus and stuff that provided them with the model and serial number of my unit, too.) Then, knowing full well that my odds of getting a useful response from them in a useful period of time–this is the UPS that my music computer runs on–I did a little googling, found a good source of batteries for a variety of needs, and ordered one up.

Today I heard from Belkin. They sent me a message with a link to click so that I could read their response. No, I don’t know why they couldn’t just send me their response. Here’s the beginning of their response, verbatim:

Hi Adam,

Thank you for contacting Belkin Technical Support.

We understand that, You have a Battery Backup with Broadband Surge Protection (750VA), And want to replace the battery. In that case i request you to check with radi shacks and they will help you replacing the battery. Please check the steps given below to replace the battery.

It went on to tell me how to swap the battery, which is information that I didn’t ask for and don’t need since it’s already provided in the manual (in correct English, even). But that aside, “radi shacks”? I guess they mean Radio Shack, but c’mon, what are the odds of getting a useful result if I wander in to a Radio Shack carrying a non-Tandy-made UPS? The place I ordered the battery from had hundreds of types of batteries; what are the odds that a local Radio Shack has the battery I need on their shelf? This would be like me directing an Audio Damage customer to Steinberg when they ask me about a problem they’re having with a plug-in I created.

The best part is the closure to the letter:

If you need further assistance please feel free to write back to us and we will be happy to assist you.

Regards,

Nixon.

Belkin Technical Support

First, I don’t see that they’d actually be happy to assist me since they didn’t seem to be interested in assisting me in the first place. Second, if that guy’s name is really Nixon, my name is Gandhi.